December 25, 2008

Thanks Santa Dearie.

Santa, My Santa:

Oh-la-la I say! I must have been goooooooooood to deserve such treat.

Thanks Santa for not believing in 'em buncha losahz 
who told you I've been naughty. hee-hee...

Thanks, thanks  BIGTIME for the grandest gift in the whole world...

Lotsa' Love from your no-longer naughty believer,


There was no mistletoe from where your grand gift brought me, but I kissed HIM, still...

December 9, 2008

Toni, Yet Another Pretension?!

And so I fall...

but keep your eyes open

so you won't miss the un-doubled stunt

as I bounce back again

See me leap

higher than

Rodney Mullen could flip

Until then, hold your applause.


I have a confession to make.

I'm not even sure if I'm doing the right thing broadcasting it here, but hell, since when did I ever care if I'm dong the right thing or not... And I guess therein lies the problem - I DON'T FCKN CARE. 

When the sane thing to do is to care about what people might say sometimes, or take into  consideration a constricting value the spaniards labeled DELICADEZA, I don't... - And I guess therein lies the problem - I REALLY DON'T FCKN CARE!

And so I confess:

I am lost.
I have a void I'm always trying to get filled.
I'm sick in the head. I'm severely paranoid.
I am not as strong as I always pretend to be. I am weak. So fuckin' weak.
Sometimes the witty cheerfulness is just a put-on. The sweet smile, plastered.
The fashion, there to create fake confidence.
The sugarcoated poetry, a code for little redemption.
....and this list continues........................................

Sometimes I just want to let everything cease out. I just want to take a permanent halt --- but despite all the sins I have been committing I still follow God's Commandments, so trying to prove if, despite my numbness, I can still feel the sear as I bleed, is never an option. So I chose to bear the cross.

I guess this confession is a scream for help.
And this is the first time ever that I DON'T FCKN CARE losing my face just because I confessed this.

Thank you for the attention.

December 7, 2008

My Hundredth Grave

I have so many lives

that I realized how many times

I've died...


LOVE is just a four-letter word.

When Angels Cry 
(Janis Ian) 

Wait Your tired arms must rest
Let this moment pass
Wait until the morning
Close your eyes and you will see
who you used to be
left without a warning
Who knew one so big could grow so small
Lighter than the writing on the wall 

When angels cry, can I stand by
stones weep, can my heart sleep
Wish I'd never heard, wish I'd never heard
Wish I'd never heard
the power of a four letter word 

'Cause only love will matter in the end
for a woman or a man
What's the difference now
Here we live with bottles
and needles and truth
Here is your living proof
that death cannot be proud
Some say it's a judgement on us all
I can't believe that God could be that small 

When angels cry, can I stand by
stones weep, can my heart sleep
Wish I'd never heard, wish I'd never heard

Wish I'd never heard
the power of a four letter word 

If ever was a rose that longed to bloom
If ever was a heart that longed to fly
If ever was an angel, it was you
So close your eyes and say goodbye

When angels cry, I can't stand by
When stones weep, I can't sleep
Guess I've finally learned
Guess I've finally learned
Yes, I've finally learned
that love is just a four letter word

Hope is just a four letter word