This Much I Miss You

I miss you to the moon...

...and back!

NEWSFLASH: Valentine's Day, to be postponed on the 31st of March!

"Sweetheart, sweetheart...Is it March yet?"

Today is the last day of January...*duh!, like the world doesn't know..* and that means it's gonna be Feb. 1st tomorrow...*haha, it's like telling you the sky is blue...or is it?* but lemme' just get to my point first for it is rare that I declare a point, you see, lately I've been pointless - I'm just floating, flowing with the rapids.

Okay, to my point:

I wish we could skip FEBRUARY. Y'know, like we could just rip that part in the calendar. My pop would be glad he'd remain 52 this year. I and my thesis-mates would be ecstatic there'd be no scheduled defense, no pre-grad. retreat to a spooky Nuns' Mother House in freezin' Baguio.

And there'd be no day that would only make me miss someone veweey, veweey, veweey much --- VALENTINE's DAY.

And since this is my page, I'll have my way around here, unless you can hack this out and nosebleed your way to my uber-complicated password even I keep forgetting. So here I hereby declare that Valentine's Day be moved to the last day of March *gavel sounds* . Bear with me, it will be a fine day, I tell you.

So wake me up by the end of March, will yah?
and together we'll celebrate April Fool's the next day...and our (mine and his) birthdays on the 4th and 24th respectively.

Mark your calendars, folks.

*toodles, caboodles*

Pangungulila *now everybody say YUCK! *

haha..ako nawa'y pagbigyan
inyong lengguahe'y ipahiram
nais ko lang naman
mag-makata-makataan

haha
SAY WHAAAAT?!


Kidding aside, eto na:

Pamagat: ILUSYON GRANDE

at tuluyan nang dumaloy
di ko na napigilan
hinahayaan na lang
na ako'y anurin nitong luha
hanggang doon sa kawalan

umaaasang doon,
doon sa kawalang yun (Malaysia nga)
ay andun ka at mukha mo'y
masulyapan man lamang


now, go puke !!!
hey, wait til I get serious... you'll guffaw harder
Haha...
SANIB MODE lang.
Gan'to talaga minsan

Proverbial Lemons * A letter to The World

Dear World,

Remember the lemons you regularly hurl at me? Yeah, those! You never run out of 'em do you? Uh-huh, sometimes you miss 'coz hey I ain't always this dumb.. but most of the time you do hit me real good... real good I don't wanna get out of bed and face you. Yes you, world.

And still you keep throwing me lemons. Some energy you got, huh. I have many options on what to do with those, though... I can either run to the nearest liquor shop, purchase Jose Cuervo Tequila and a saltshaker, and voila! I can puke right at yah! ***ehemn, excuse me*... or when my temper's at it again (like it often does) - I'll hurl it back at you. Watch out, world, I grow my lemons real H U G E you'd think they're MUTANTS.



But today world, you know what I did with the lemons you shower my way like giant hails?
I squeezed it, squeezed it hard...squeezed it real hard...
and rubbed the juice to my eyes.

So quit askin' why I'm crying world.

Quit askin'...

Just teach me how to make a LEMONADE. A SPIKED lemonade.


Love always,


TONI

Getting There.... Full Steam! Zooooooom! *ra-ra-rah*

Scene: On-the-Job-Training

Location: IBC 13 

First Day: So this how it feels like on dead hours... by dead, I mean the hours when journalists are waitin', monitoring, observing which direction the thunder will roar, and off they'll zoom there head-on to cover... then deliver.

Second Day: So this is how it feels like?! I felt like a three-year old trained to swim, but in an almost cruel way. I was left with no choice but swim, or I'll get drowned. It took a dash of confidence, and oh, the right clothes.

For a second there I looked up, "Lord, are you really sure you're planting me here?"

but I shrugged the thought away and reprimanded myself for that little slip of faith... He is planting me here, I have to bloom here.

So I swam.

And in the same pool were the media-who's-who whom I used to only just see on TV.

Ivan Mayrina. Maki Pulido. Anthony Taberna. And a pretty o

ne whose name I lost. I, I...ME...bringing the same gear as they do, that is: a pen and a steno notebook. We were there in The House of Representatives, jotting down hurried notes as the congressmen deliberated over yet another societal issue.

Forgive me for magnifying the experience to the maximum... It's just something surreal for me.

I'm getting there... I'm getting there.. I'm reaching my star... nothing's gonna stop me.

.. and it's giving me  the jitters.

Good God, guide me good. 

Pointblank *OUCH!

Bob Ong's brilliance makes me go, "Ouch! could you hit me any harder, please?"

POINTBLANK! SAPUL!


1. "Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya.."


2. "Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."


3. "Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."


4. "Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."


5. "Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."


6. "Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din."


7. "Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."


8. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."


9. "Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang."


10. "Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."


11. "Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."


12. "Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka."


13. "Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."


14. "Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya."


15. "Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."


16. "Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala"


17. "Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan"


18. "Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"


19. "Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo."


20. "Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sa iyo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."


21. "Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal...nakakatakot mahulog...at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka.."


Toni: Sir Bob, pa'no po kung halimbawa, manhid ako?
Bob O.: see 21.

ang tamang kanta jan ay : ...wise men says, only fools rush in,
but I can't help falliong in love with you... tananana...

toink!

Ctrl C'd this from Gygie
Thanks Gy...

PAINT-BLOTTED STRAIGHTJACKET * My song for you...provide the melodies, will yah?

I emerged among one of his many sins.
He was just one among the million temptations I gave in to.
I took a little piece among the million broken remnants of what love has torn apart
and wounded myself in it.
Whilst he took a little piece among one of his broken promises,
and wounded as I've already been, he wounded me the same.

But it was a sweet pain.
In fact, the sweetest pain.
An insanity-triggering ecstasy.
The most poignant bliss.

And I'll take it all in.

And I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
And I wouldn't wanna know anything else.
And I wouldn't wanna be with anyone else.

For in my crazy world,
I know nothing else matters.

Insane, I remain.
May your skillful arms be my straitjacket?
With your paint-blotted arms
Lock me, until I fade.

--- TONIanTONIo

BROWNOUT

Soon
they're gonna take off the lights
illuminating the streets...

Soon
you'll be leaving -

you are the light
that illuminates
my life.

*just let me be mushy...
I'll be normal when courage comes.

Blog-a-blog Blog!

I can make this entry long.

Then again, what will I write about?

Shall I whine about my zits again? 

*gosh, they seem to pop up out of nowhere every sec and guessing what really caused it only makes it worse... izit my hairstyle? izit the new hair products I'm using? the pillowcases? my diet? (or lack of it? coz you see I'm gaining weight) whaaat?

Or rant about my self-inflicted emo-pain?

*I wish I could tell them to their faces that even robots and wind-up toys break down sometime. That I can't be all this and that all of the time.That I have hung-ups and baggages that I know I really need to throw, I just don't know how and where to begin so I throw tantrums instead - it's easier, y'know. Shit just happens sometimes. Or in my case, it does most of the fuckin' time. 

Shall I broadcast how crazy I am about a certain someone who isn't really just a certain someone?

*When I think about it, I had to bite my lower lip to keep from crying (naks!) Since our Lurv story began, I can count the days that we're not together with the fingers on my left hand, and next Sunday he will be away for two long months and (2) weeks.

Or show the cyber-universe how a hopeless-bipolar case I am?

*I'll save you the nega-vibes here, but if you insist for a proof, you only have to review my earlier posts and compare one entry from another. 

NOTHING.

As the title goes......

N O T H I N G !

So what do you expect?

I'll tell you what to expect. Clue: (See title)

Haha... Sometimes it feels good not to make sense

NEW year. OLD me.

I'm at it again. Selective Amnesia... because I'll do all things to keep my mind off the fact that TWO-OH-OH-NINE means *Ugh!!! Deny as I may, Defy as all the pots of cream may - the truth remains: I am nearing the big THREE-OH! *uh-huh, big...in fact, 

H U G E ! 

But my old Artwork Tee reminds me: Age is just a number! So, I'll stay the same care-free *hey, not the pantiliner, alright* me. I miss it. I miss me. For several months I think I haven't been me... not that I didn't enjoy not being me, hey don't get me wrong...It's just that this year, I want the old me back. 

So as this year unfolds, expect the same old me.

I have to bring the old me back to avoid STRESS... god, my acne's getting worse because my T-zone's keen on producing sebum... yes, due to STRESS...and the unwelcome pair of coal gray eyebags have seem to take permanent residence under my eyes... these can't be * palm on forehead*...

...Or is caffeine the culprit? imagine 9, yes 9 no kidding, Starbucks Planner this year. The baristas in Strata, Serendra, and Megastrip didn't have to ask what name to put on the cup *Yeh-bang!* Consolation is, Sparkhope Foundation will love me (and the gang) for it.

In closing, I'll repeat my first line. 

I'm at it again. Incoherent blogging. 

Spell RANDOM.

*toodles caboodles*

 

A happy year ahead, folks!

NEW year. OLD me.

I'm at it again. Selective Amnesia... because I'll do all things to keep my mind off the fact that TWO-OH-OH-NINE means *Ugh!!! Deny as I may, Defy as all the pots of cream may - the truth remains: I am nearing the big THREE-OH! *uh-huh, big...in fact, 

H U G E ! 

But my old Artwork Tee reminds me: Age is just a number! So, I'll stay the same care-free *hey, not the pantiliner, alright* me. I miss it. I miss me. For several months I think I haven't been me... not that I didn't enjoy not being me, hey don't get me wrong...It's just that this year, I want the old me back. 

So as this year unfolds, expect the same old me.

I have to bring the old me back to avoid STRESS... god, my acne's getting worse because my T-zone's keen on producing sebum... yes, due to STRESS...and the unwelcome pair of coal gray eyebags have seem to take permanent residence under my eyes... these can't be * palm on forehead*...

...Or is caffeine the culprit? imagine 9, yes 9 no kidding, Starbucks Planner this year. The baristas in Strata, Serendra, and Megastrip didn't have to ask what name to put on the cup *Yeh-bang!* Consolation is, Sparkhope Foundation will love me (and the gang) for it.

In closing, I'll repeat my first line. 

I'm at it again. Incoherent blogging. 

Spell RANDOM.

*toodles caboodles*

 

A happy year ahead, folks!

Owemjee! It's Tweny' Oh Nine O'Ready!

There are like a gazillion things I love about a new year...

Astrology books, included

...and yeah, planners with no graffiti (yet...yet)

resolutions ( same list as of the previous year, actually...except that it's  a li'l longer...and, just like last year's list, will take like eleven months to fulfill )  

-unfin- need to hit the sack, will finish it tomorrow...*yawn*